Humility and Loss


Life is best defined not by accomplishment and success but by disappointment and heartbreak.

If this strikes you as a shocking or needlessly depressing statement, consider the qualities of great or unexpected success. The happy person might say that it is "a dream come true," that "it all seems so unreal," that "I can't believe it really happened," or that "I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming."

Consider, now, the deeply disappointed or bereaved person -- someone who has lost their job, their house, a loved one. There is no dream or fantasy involved, just an awe-ful reality that dogs the person's every move and fills each waking breath. There is no escaping it, however one might wish to try.

Why isn't it the other way around? Why can't success be our reality and heartbreak our illusion?

There is a simple and sure answer. Whereas in success we stand alone at the top of our little self-made mountain, filled with pride in our accomplishments and our ingenuity, in disappointment and loss we are humbled. All vestiges of arrogance, jealousy, greed, and craving for control have been stripped away. We stand there naked, beaten, in full awareness of our utter need for and dependence on God.

This is life's reality, our utter need for and dependence on God. To believe that we don't need God, that we can make it on our own, is the illusion. This is why, as painful as heartbreak always is, we find the living Christ in the midst of our suffering.

Humankind's most eloquent plea to embrace this reality is found in Philippians:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interest, but to the  interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, and being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death -- even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3-8)

In the midst of our disappointments and losses, particularly as we move through the season of Lent, let us call at every opportunity on "the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord."

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